Maybe you can ask them to use sanitizer and a mask before holding her, especially if there is someone that is around schools or other large groups of people a lot. As a mom of two I quickly learned that there are definitely times when you should let someone hold the baby. No one will hold my newborn unless they've had a flu shot and DTAP. First, work on having her be comfortable in your arms while the other person is around. Then, have the person talk and play with your child while you hold her. Then, hand him over to the other person for a short time and stay close. Finally, try to leave the room for a few minutes, and see how it goes. But then -- she went into labor. lou61rvf. If your baby really will not accept being held by dad at all, make sure that dad is close to you and your baby as much as possible. HELP my baby wont go to ANYONE!!!!!!!! 4. Since she has been born I have pretty much carried her (in my arms or a sling carrier) most of the time. Pregnancy is an difficult experience for many women. marchbaby19 22/03/14. Am I the justno for not letting her hold my baby? You are your baby's social barometer in a sense. Let mom know you would love to hold baby, but don’t push the issue. Yes, the woman's husband his female BFF used to date, but they've been platonic friends for a while now. "On the day that I gave birth, [Best Friend's] brother got into a car accident," she wrote on Reddit's Am I The A--hole forum. My niece is now 7 months old and I have only held her once. Maybe she feels fragile about his traumatic birth and needs to be near him that day. • Surprise her with a bouquet of flowers and a card — “Can hardly wait to meet the baby! If your baby really will not accept being held by dad at all, make sure that dad is close to you and your baby as much as possible. If he interacts, talks, smiles, and so on with your baby, she will start feeling secure with him too. Please don’t be offended. I also had a NICU preemie. 1. And up until this point, the wife had no problems with their friendship. Yes, a mother dog can reject her litter and turn on her puppies. “It’s okay. 2. A little encouragement can go a long way. This may happen because she feels unwell herself, or because a puppy seems too weak to be worthy of her care, or simply because of a lack of maternal instinct. There's nothing quite like bonding with your newborn, with every touch bringing you closer to your teeny tiny child. Perhaps, you can place your arms under hers for a few seconds each day to share the experience until she trusts you a bit more, or feel more comfortable with it. Reach Out. If family members or anyone are sick, under the weather or haven't washed their hands then No. When my daughter was 10 weeks old, we had a large family event. 2021-07-03 21:11:20 My NMom just stormed out because I won't let her hold my baby... 2021-07-07 03:16:09 My NMom stormed out because I wouldn't let her hold my baby UPDATE ... My hearts in pieces and I dont think I did anything wrong. Ideally parents, baby and grandparents only; siblings who’ve been isolated along with the family are probably OK too. New moms may not want to let everyone hold the baby. Last thing a new mom needs is judgment and stress from her family. You’re doing a good job.”. But some take longer than others, and that’s okay too. 02/09/2022 08:19 Subject: Update to previously deleted thread- my sister won’t let anyone hold her baby . When I Realized I Didn't Want to Hold My Baby. New moms often don’t want to let anyone hold the new baby, or baby simply won’t tolerate it. His wife also admitted that she’d hate the thought she would be the last to hold their son. “Protect your mental/physical health at all cost.” ~ looseylucy11. from the story 5SOS preferences by tiannatonkin (tianna tonkin) with 1,234 reads. I am new mom to an 11week old daughter. No, You Can’t Hold My Baby -- And This Is Why. The most common steps will be to first bond with mom and then with dad (and then with siblings, relatives, friends et cetera.) It’s all … Feb 22, 2016 at 11:50 PM. 5sosfanfic. She is so terrified of “the baby getting sick” she legitimately wore an n95 in the house and did not hold or sit in the same room as the baby for an entire day. It’s normal. She sees her almost everyday. You aren’t worried that you’ll fail as a mommy. Hi, so my little girl is 4 1/2 months and just recently she wont let anyone hold her except me! It is normal for family members to hold the babies born into their family. “NTA. She doesn't nap much unless I'm holding her but if I put her down in the crib she only sleeps about … When baby is in the bath, grab the towel and just casually say “here, I’ve got her, you clean up in here” and take her to her room. She is around my mom a lot and all of a sudden she stopped letting her hold her. Ask Aunt Kelly to hold the baby while you go have a shower. Answer (1 of 5): She’s in mommy protect mode, it will wane a little bit in a while. Yes, the woman's husband his female BFF used to date, but they've been platonic friends for a while now. And of course, part of family bonding when a new baby is born is all about the cuddles; holding, touching and interacting with the baby in a normal and happy way. An overprotective puppy refused to let his owner touch her newborn baby, as captured in a viral TikTok video taken on August 5 in Fort Worth, Texas. Skin-on-skin snuggling is important for mom and baby, but it's also important for dad and baby. Each time any of my family asks to hold her my sister in law says things like "oh no she is tired" or "I'm just about to put her in her pram". Being a mom for the first time is one of the most stressful, emotional, wild rides a woman will ever take in her life. Start slowly. Their immune systems are so fragile at that age. Making babies stress reactive from undercare may be a good way to build an easily distressed personality and create a society of self-concerned folks. If you have a new baby and you’re freaking out about people getting a little too close, I’m not going to tell you to … • Call her from the grocery store to ask if she needs anything. That's why this mother's decision to not let anyone touch her baby for the first month of it's life is … 4. Let Mom pick her clothes (her control) but you can dry her, talk to her, dress her (your control). This little girl is not your normal 5 month old. Don’t be pushy about holding the baby. By 4 or 5 months, there are usually more times that you can put those babies down. Postpartum anxiety disorder is a cousin to postpartum depression (PPD) that affects about 10 percent of new moms, according to the American Pregnancy Association. The nanny and dh handled the baby. I also had not planned to co-sleep but it has been what felt right since she came home from the hospital. Since your baby responds to your cues, it's helpful if you're calm and relaxed when meeting anyone who's new to your baby. The moment she’s placed back in my arms she stops crying. The group should be held to as few people as possible. Parenting tips for moms. Recently she wants nothing to do with anyone but myself. If someone is or has been sick, sorry but they need to stay the heck away. Nighttime is here, and as I sit here with a soon-to-be 8-month-old sleeping peacefully in her rocker, I think back on the day’s events. I remember how careful they were about letting anyone in the NICU. But dads, I’m talking to you here: do not give up. New Dad Wonders Whether He Was Wrong Not to Let Anyone Else Hold His Newborn Before His Wife Could. You can smile at the baby and play with the baby while the mom is holding her. Allow for plenty of time for a new baby to develop a closeness with both parents. Being a mom for the first time is one of the most stressful, emotional, wild rides a woman will ever take in her life. Read He Won't Let Anyone Hold Your Newborn Daughter. No Vax, No Visit is a movement being propagated through social media and social pressure. I’ve tried leaving her in small increments. I don’t understand what happened. Looking back when I had my first, I was so protective of him and wouldn't let anyone hold him.. My advice to everyone else is that if you have a friend or family member that just had a baby don’t ask if you can hold her baby. Play lots of “peak-a-boo” games to help her see that you come back. As a part of the legitimation lawsuit, the Superior Court can do a number of things: 1) declare the biological father to be the legal father, 2) award custody or visitation to the biological father, 3) set a child support amount and 4) change the child’s last name to that of the father. 6. The other day my mom had to call me after 15 minutes because she just wouldn’t stop crying. Take lots of walks with baby around the neighborhood, ostensibly to let wife nap but actually so the neighbors frequently see an attentive involved doting dad. Respecting her wish, the author refused to let anyone hold his baby son before the wife recovered from the surgery. Tell your sister she needs a f#cking punch in the throat then apologize and blame it on your hormones while savoring the good vent. So much so that it’s tempting to simply tune out, retreat to the room, and assume that the baby only wants mom. But dads, I’m talking to you here: do not give up. Your baby’s attachment to mom is nothing at all on you. In fact, mom may have gone through the same challenges, and only through time and practice has been able to break through. With my first, my sil was sick, lied to me and only told me the truth weeks … I’m at a loss. Don’t give up or tune out. There are a million reasons a new mama may hold her baby tight. In particular, the unnamed woman is planning on restricting the physical contact her future child has with her husband's parents - unless … At 4 months she was sitting up on her own, she like to know whats going on and is very aware of things. I have ppd and ppa, and I just wanted to see my mom. She had allergies or a mild cold a few weeks ago and wouldn’t be in the same room as the baby for a full 24 hours. “Re-think your relationship as well, who the hell speaks to their wife like that especially after having baby.”. But if you are a good guest, you will get other opportunities. When parents ban grandparents from visiting, usually it is to allow the new family to bond without any complicating factors. But then -- she went into labor. One other factor that could be at play here is separation anxiety. Such behavior may appear from the moment she has given birth, or a few days or weeks later. Now, most of us wear face masks whenever we go out and see family and wash or sanitize our hands constantly.For anyone who's welcomed a baby into the world in the last year, you've likely kept your circle extra small and only let close family meet your baby — if that. Find the courage to honor your instincts, even if they don’t make sense to you. My sister-in-law (married to my brother-in-law) wouldn't let anyone hold the baby at the hostpital, no one just her and the father. Let’s hear some thoughts…. Making babies stress reactive from undercare may be a good way to build an easily distressed personality and create a society of self-concerned folks. Last post: 25/07/2011 at 2:59 pm. This is really upsetting me. 5 tips to give mom a bedtime break: Let the non-feeding partner or caregiver become a source of soothing, right from the beginning. New Dad Wonders Whether He Was Wrong Not to Let Anyone Else Hold His Newborn Before His Wife Could. You can smile at the baby and play with the baby while the mom is holding her. She is simply unable to let go of her daughter. Here is how this dynamic can play out at each developmental stage, with the mother’s needs centered to forestall the daughter’s individuation: Infancy. Mom guards her role of primary caregiver jealously and has a hard time letting anyone else, including Dad, become special to Daughter. I'm not allowed to hold my niece : (. It's a … Not all of us think rationally postpartum. Separation anxiety is a perfectly normal developmental stage, but it shouldn't run your life and prevent your child from learning to cope with her fears. If you see a baby, even if it's from a family member, don't ask if you can hold the baby. Endless Spiral Of Inadequacy Anxieties. Here are some other reasons why parents may request that grandparents not visit the hospital: The mother may be recovering from birth and need lots of rest. Oh how naive, not only as a first time mother, but as my daughter’s protector. OP needs to make sure he doesn't let wife marginalize him as dad. This post originally appeared on Mama instincts. 6 answers /. Because I suspect odds of a future custody battle are high. There are lots of things that have been normalized in our post-COVID-19 world (for better or worse). Anonymous ... Subject: Update to previously deleted thread- my sister won’t let anyone hold her baby . Believe me, if the mom wants you to hold the baby she will tell you. This is a civil lawsuit. Anonymous: Anonymous wrote: Trisha Leigh Zeigenhorn. You’ll be a great mom!”. Hearing your baby shriek in your arms—especially when she doesn’t do the same with mom—can feel disheartening to any dad. No one was allowed to visit unless they had recent flu and DTAP shots. 02/08/2022 13:27 New moms often question whether they are doing things right. Answer (1 of 8): I understand why you may be mad, but please carefully read my answer. New dad has recently shared how he didn’t let anyone hold his baby son before his wife woke up from the difficult surgery and did it first Image credits: Sharon McCutcheon (not the actual photo) But family members accused him of robbing them of their time with their baby early on, so he took it to r/AITA to see if he was right or wrong She would be happy with everyone and never play strange. She appreciates your willingness to be the arms that give her a break when she needs it. This really hurt my wife and her mother, especially since her mother doesn't have a car and we had to drive her to/from the hospital/home, which was like a 2 hour roundtrip. I remember going to my brother in laws birthday at a restaurant when bubs was 6 months old and I would not let anyone touch him including my mother in law.. In fact, bathroom breaks are perfect for teaching her how to survive without your constant presence, providing you leave her in a safe place such as a crib or toddler-proofed room. So much so that it’s tempting to simply tune out, retreat to the room, and assume that the baby only wants mom. My baby has always been very fussy but she stopped letting other people hold her right around the time she turned 3 months. Then back to mom to … She even starts screaming sometimes if my mom talks to her. You … Before I was even pregnant I knew I would have a child I would want to pass around. Trisha Leigh Zeigenhorn. Be aware that your child may be more anxious around new people when they're tired, hungry, or sick. This is a routine for me. There is nothing wrong with protecting your babies. "On the day that I gave birth, [Best Friend's] brother got into a car accident," she wrote on Reddit's Am I The A--hole forum. My baby only wants me to hold her! She loves that you adore her little person. I love that I’m her source of comfort but I have 30 days to make her feel comfortable around my mom. And up until this point, the wife had no problems with their friendship. Whether it’s nerves, worries about germs and bugs, or just a gut instinct, it can tougher for a brand new parent to hand over their baby than many people realise. Come back to shore, put pride aside and take the initiative to reach out to your daughter-in-law with gestures of kindness. Here is the bad news: you might not get to hold the new baby on your first or second visit. Keep in mind that your anticipatory anxiety about her tears often makes it … Apparently, the author’s mom and sister were less than happy with the prospect, and that’s where the feud began. 25/07/2011 at 8:51 pm. Grandparents and Hospital Visits. She does this with all my family but seems fine with hers. In a since-deleted post on Reddit, the new mother complained that her husband thinks she's being "too precious" with their baby because she won't let him spend time alone with their 7-month-old daughter. If your child refuses to be held by a friend, relative, or caregiver, try a slow desensitization process. You can help reassure her that she is doing a great job. Say "Diakuju" when your mother-in-law makes dinner, then go lie down with the baby. I was reluctant to let others hold my newborn, especially the first time around. I know those are the words I needed to hear when my Velcro baby was on me 24/7 and I didn’t know how on earth I’d survive. They will not hold the baby. 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